Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplacable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.

Friday, December 18, 2009

And all that could've been

So Friday night is usually a particularly active blogging night for me.
Instead I've spent the last 4 hours with my head in the toilet bowl.
I'm exhausted from repetitive vomiting and this is the first time I've spent longer than 10 minutes away from the bathroom and managed to sit at my computer.

Now in the emotionally fragile and physically fatigued state I've gotten myself into for some reason I decided to watch Centre Stage?
Dancing makes me happy, it's the only thing I've ever known to make me happy and clear my mind from everything else that tears me up inside...

So how the fuck did I invest so much time, energy, passion and dedication into something and then just walk away?

Was this a decision I will regret for the rest of my life?

Will I never be able to match the blissful, carefree feeling dancing used to give me with anything else?

And if not... am I doomed to be anxiety stricken and sad forever?

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