Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplacable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Another year.

It has slipped away so quickly.
I remember posting a blog this time last year and it does not feel like a year ago.
I thought that 2009 was a tough year, in fact, it was more of a transition year. 2010 however was a worse one, I think 2009 was preparing me for what was to come next. Overall I feel stronger from my experiences this past year, we have survived it and things can only get easier.
So anyway, Ive spent the night at home with my boy, my puppy and a bottle of wine and it has been very enjoyable.
Tomorrow we will celebrate much harder surrounded by thousands at Field Day...
Happy New Year to all, I hope you have a fabulous night and I wish you the best for the year to come!
(very average attempt at finding relevant pictures to post so here are my leftovers from the the last most or so, goodbye 2010!)

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Elle Fanning

12 years old... WTF.
So beautiful. Gonna be massive star like her big sister.
Really want to see Sophia Coppola's new film this week. Looks amazing!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Its all going too fast...

Having a breakdown over how fast time flies when you are happy.
Its not fair. I spend so much time working, being stressed, anxious and tired then when I get a few days off they disappear so quickly and Im left feeling depressed that it was all over too soon.
I just want to rewind back to Thursday and have that feeling of elation and freedom once more. I've already succumbed to sadness cos it all went to fast and anxiousness cos Im not ready to face real life again.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

I'll be home for Christmas

Well... I AM home for Christmas.
So far its been a delight. Its so nice to be surrounded by people who are so happy you are there with them...
Lately its been rare to feel wanted, as pathetic as that sounds.
Its slowly starting to feel like christmas... a different kind of Christmas. But I guess still Christmas.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


I am a walking disaster.
I need a beak from everyone... All I bring is bad luck and misfortune.
Stay away from me.

Monday, December 20, 2010

A merry little Christmas

Last night the boys and I had a little Christmas feast.
I think its the first time we have ever sat down and had a proper meal around the dining table.
We cooked, ate, drank and opened presents...
I personally inherited a pair of lululemon gym pants, a bottle of Moet, a Filed Day ticket and a Coco Chanel book. Benny got a PS3 move set which has has us playing video games all night (drunk)!
It was a very merry little household Christmas...

Charlie Bear says MERRY CHRISTMAS :)

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Cant do anything right

Too early... too late.
Too happy... Too sad.
I dont care about anything... I worry too much.
Work too hard... I dont work hard enough.
Cant defend myself... cant stop talking back.
Im not any fun... I take too many drugs.
You hate me... You love me.

Where do I stand? Im lost.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Not enough hours in the day

All I do is work and clean... well 80% of the time.
The other 20% of my week is dispersed amongst a couple of gym sessions and a few hours on Saturday night with friends, wait scrap the plural... one friend ;) Although when the other comes back to sydney I can add the 's' again!
I need more hours in the day, maybe then I could sleep more, then get to the gym more, call my mum, get my hair done, go to movies read a book etc.
At the moment my day goes: wake up, clean, do laundry, traffic, work, traffic, come home, hang out washing, cook, put away clean/dry washing, clean dishes, go to bed... Repeat.
Im not complaining, I think this is what adult working life is like.
But just cos thats what its like, doesnt mean it doesnt suck.
At least today I squeezed in a whiny useless blog!
Im also extra grumpy cos this is the most broke Ive been all year, so many bill and expenses and thats not even including Christmas BAH HUMBUG!
Cant wait to get paid tomorrow!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

"One shot for my pain..."

"...One drag for my sorrow,
Get messed up today,
I'll be alright tomorrow"

Heavy day. Heavy night. Heavy week!
Topped off by locking my keys in my car and waiting for the NRMA until after 10pm this evening. Come to think of it, the only thing I have ever used my NRMA membership for is the retrieve my keys from my car, and it is definitely worth the money (especially considering this situation has repeated itself about 6 or 7 times since I got my licence)
Finally at home with some OC an a glass of wine. My car is going to get its annual service tomorrow and get registered one my day off tomorrow. I also will be attempting my first bout of Christmas shopping and hopefully attending at least one class at the gym.
Stinging for 5pm Saturday. LETS GO!

Thursday, December 2, 2010