Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplacable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Wanna Party?!



Open up some happiness.

Nudity + Accessories

= WIN.

Dark Cloud

There is one particular problem we are experiencing that will either make or break our new years experience.
Well... I may be overreacting a tad. But its pretty crucial.
So the big question is... will we, or wont we?

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

6 Hours

Has been spent in the car on missions.
Maybe if there had been any kind of success by 1am I wouldnt be quite so bitter.
But it was nothing but an all around fail.
Ive also misplaced my phone somewhere along the journey, can't even go back and get it because my car sounds like a ticking time bomb of mass destruction.
Im taking a sleeping tablet and forgetting this day ever happened.
Im disgraced by my lack of productivity and accomplishment.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Barbie Girl

Fox has gotten me thinking.

When I was little I was obsessed with Barbies. The game went something like this.
There was:
My favourite Barbie (a limited edition Levi's Barbie from the states)
A Ken with a shave-able beard.
Mobile telephone Stacey, a Gymnastics Skipper and a Nursery Kellie.
They lived in a 2 storey pink Victorian Dream house with an electric elevator, a door bell and a massive fold out balcony.
Daily activities included, going to my Barbie supermarket, my Barbie hair salon, my Barbie day care or my Barbie Stables (where my horse Nibbles lived)
We would travel there in either my convertible, picnic wagon, horse trailer or camper van.
I also hold a Barbie "Fold n Fun" House and a travel house that turned into a suitcase on wheels with a pull along handle that accompanied me on family holidays.
I had similar childhood obsessions with polly pockets, the litttlest pet shop and my little pony.

Now I would often have friends come over and want to play with my Barbie's with me and I wouldn't want them to. I had a particular way of playing and my game had a particular continuing storyline that I couldn't just have anyone come in and fuck with. True here we see the beginings of an obsessive compulsive control freak, but we also see someone who is creative, imaginative and capable of entertaining herself and enjoying her own company. I think I am still this little girl. Its not like I don't enjoy company, its not like I don't have alot of friends, but if someone isn't prepared to play the game my way I am content to go it alone. Being an only child has taught me alot, I am rarely bored, and I would always choose to be individual and alone than conform to the majority simply for company.

Gold Dust

Ive been watching a lot of dance videos lately.
Fucked if I know why? In case Im not miserable enough.
Just general narcissistic behavior I guess.
This is one of my all time favourites.

Saturday, December 26, 2009


More lyrics. Old school Alanis Morisette.
Relate to this song so intensely.

Sometimes is never quite enough
If you're flawless, then you'll win my love
Don't forget to win first place
Don't forget to keep that smile on your face
Be a good boy
Try a little harder
You've got to measure up
And make me prouder
How long before you screw it up
How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up
With everything I do for you
The least you can do is keep quiet
Be a good girl
You've gotta try a little harder
That simply wasn't good enough
To make us proud
I'll live for you
I'll make you what I never was
If you're the best, then maybe so am I
Compared to him compared to her
I'm doing this for your own damn good
You'll make up for what I blew
What's the problem ...... why are you crying
Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn't fast enough
To make us happy
We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect

Diamonds falling down

Well, for a pop song its pretty awesome, my stepdad listened to alot of matchbox 20 when I was growing up, so I find Rob Thomas's voice soothing and nostalgic. Pretty lyrics.

Oh what the hell she says
I just can't win for losing
And she lays back down

Man there's so many times
I don't know what I'm doin'
Like I don't know now

By the light of the moon, she rubs her eyes
Says it's funny how the night can make you blind
I can just imagine

And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
But if she feels bad then I do too
So I let her be

And she says ooh I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down
Cause I can't help her now

She's down in it
She tried her best but now she can't win
It's hard to see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down, way down

She sits down and stares into the distance
And it takes all night
And I know I could break her concentration
But it don't feel right

By the light of the moon, she rubs her eyes
Sits down on the bed and starts to cry
And there's something less about her

And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
So I sit down and I cry too
But don't let her see

And she says ooh, I can't take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down
Cause I can't help her now

She's down in it
She tried her best but now she can't win
It's hard to see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down

She shuts out the night
Tries to close her eyes
If she can find daylight
Then she'll be alright, she'll be alright
Just not tonight

The Sunday Sex and the City Marathon

Brilliant Fucking Episode, Season 4, Episode 14. The Good Fight.
2 memorable scenes.

Friday, December 25, 2009


Waiting for my 5pm flight back to Sydney... Ran out of magazines to purchase so Ive resorted to paying for kiosk internet.

Cant wait to get back and cuddle my Charlie Bear! I hope he still remembers me?

When I was little Mum used to dress me up to go on a plane. We would pick out a special outfit and pack a little handbag. Now everyone at airports look like the just rolled out of bed and didnt bother changing out of their PJ's. There are also WAY too many children running around still on a Christmas high of presents and sweets.

Back to the important stuff... wasting countless hours browsing fashion blogs in serach of new pictures.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

White Christmas

The white being the sand rather than snow.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

'O Christmas Tree

Here we have a traditional Stuart Christmas tree. It's an Australian pine tree thing that Ben and his Dad chop down from a neighbouring property... Needless to say the droughts in south east Queensland haven't exactly done wonders for the native flora but I do love the authenticity and tradition if it. Even though it's a little sparse and dry it was put together with love, it has put my families fake and plastic Christmas tree to
shame, mine had half the character and none of the love.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, December 21, 2009

Where's Charlie..?

Not with me.
I miss my little bear so much. My house (and life) feels empty without him.
Miss you little Charlie Bear.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Seasons Greetings

So long for a few days... Spending Christmas in Queensland with the Boy's family.
Hopefully spending Christmas day down on the beach having the stereotypical "Aussie Chrissy" with sausage sandwiches and a picnic on the sand.
Anything will be better than enduring with my family.
So Merry Christmas to all, from a true Christmas grinch.
I'll be back boxing day evening for some real partying (not to mention a sad slap in the face of reality when I bring in a New Year with no money/job prospects or hope... love it how this time of the year manages to make everything thats bad even worse!)
Massive picture dump as a little Christmas present for all.