Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplacable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.

Sunday, November 28, 2010


Its been a hard week, as you may or may not have noticed.
Praying for blue skies this week.. Time to pull myself together.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Im a fraud

Im a liar, a thief, a fake and a waste of time.
You dont even know me.
If you did you wouldn't be here.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Paradise lost

I lost a little part of myself today.
Its never coming back.
I feel different in every way, like there is a new voice in my head to add to the pre-existing congestion...
Something has changed.

So now, pretty things to look at.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Let me open up, and start again...

Bestest weekend ever in the history of amazing weekends! EVER.
Dreams come true... I properly met, spent the whole night partying with, and was KISSED by Travie McCoy, still cant wipe the smile off my face!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Dying to feel alive again...

Super excited to see one of my favourite celebs tomorrow.
Travvie, Imma comin to get ya!

If the time, Is near
Then fine, I've been waitin' patiently for years
Fought lines, in my mind
I'm more unstable than I fear
And I don't know
Just take my hand
It's time to go
So just enjoy your blue moon
It'll be over soon
So we might as well have some fun
It's getting Critical
Takes a minute for it set in
I'm unpredictable
And I'm dyin' just tryin' to feel alive again

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


The word is so foreign to me in so many ways.... most of the time I wonder if Ive ever been happy or if I will ever experience happy in my future?
But today for the first time in a long time I feel happy. Not just temporarily happy, like Im on holidays happy, or Im under the influence of a substance happy... I think I was genuinely, and naturally happy?
I had an incredibly empowering meeting without my boss the included the word raise ($$$) in it, and I feel particularly inspired.
This was especially motivating after spending an hour participating in compulsory counselling talking about all sorts of traumatic things... I was overwhelming depressed this morning then somehow my entire day backflipped. So thank you God and the greater universe for everything.... really.... thank you. I needed that.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Luckiest girl in the world....

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Holiday! Celebrate!

Singing away to the tune of Madonna... "It would be so nice!"
As of tomorrow I will be a lady of leisure for 4 days...
International fashion magazines at the airport, bikini shopping, listening to my iPod as I sunbake, cocktails for breakfast! Yay!
Will miss you all, especially my fluffy little friend who I am already feeling lost without.
Now onto paradise.

Friday, November 5, 2010


Im so sad.
Im so sick of this year, I want it all to be over so I can start fresh.
The saddest part is that even though Im looking forward to a new start and am praying for things to get better, the truth is that I don't expect it to, I have no hope.
Nothing ever really changes.